Something I Learnt from Jiaheng

Jiaheng's 弟子规 teacher told the class that it is important to have a 志向, i.e. to have a direction in life.

If you do not have 志向, it is like packing your luggage and lugging it all the way the airport but just standing there from morning till night but still have not taken flight, simply because you don't know where to go!

During "Jiaheng's Late Night" today, Kai Hock, Jiaheng and I were having a game of monopoly. Needless to say Jiaheng had a very enjoyable night. While I was lying next to him in bed, Jiaheng said this to me.

"Mommy, do you know that the dice for monopoly is just like the “我的志向”that teacher was talking about, you know? It is like you need to know where you want to go. Like if you want to dice to land at box 8, 10 and 11, you will tell the dice to go there, just like our 志向. Right?"

I just replied "Yes, Jiaheng". Although I didn't comment much, but while Jiaheng drifted off to sleep next to me, I can't help but think how correct he is. :)

-------- posted by Mommy

A touching song

The first time I heard the song, I was drawn by the beautiful voice of the singer. Then when I understood the meaning of the lyrics, I love this song even more. Very touching and meaningful words.

I am sharing this song with you, and I am sure you will learn something from it too.

---- posted by Mommy

Going Vegetarian

As AQ and family are back from UK for the New Year, we met up with a few other PS mates for a dinner. After that dinner, Jiaheng decided to go vegetarian.

Woah! Dun get me wrong, there is nothing magical about the dinner. Just that, prior to the dinner, the teacher at DiZiGui passed us a VCD to educate children to refrain from killing, 杀生。Then at the dinner, we ordered a steam fish and roasted chicken. Perhaps, something clicked in Jiaheng's mind when he saw the 2 big plates in front of him and he decided he doesn't want to 杀生。

Then mommy decided to be 'naughty' and test her boy a little. "Jiaheng, you really want to go vegetarian?" "If you do, you cannot eat 'bak bak' that Ah Ma cooks you know?" (BTW, that 'bak bak' dish is Jiaheng's favourite and grandma will cook it specially for him every weekend)

"Where does 'bak bak' come from Mommy?"
"From pork"
"Where does pork come from Mommy?"
"From pig"
"Orh. Then I dun want to eat 'bak bak' already"

Frankly speaking, i was a bit taken aback by Jiaheng's response. I didn't expect him to give up his 'bak bak'.

Then I pushed my luck a little more... hiak, hiak, hiak.
"Jiaheng, then you cannot take char siew bao you know?" (mommy really knows where are all the soft spots!)
"Where does char siew bao come from Mommy?"
"The char siew is from pork."
"Orh. Then I dun want to eat char siew bao already" (I thought I spotted a hint of hesitation though :P)

Jiaheng really went vegetable-vegetarian for more than a week... until Sunday morning. We went to the foodcourt for breakfast before going for his Art class. N guess what he saw at the foodcourt?

YES! It is his favourite of his favourites - Japanese food. He relented and decided to queue for his teriyaki chicken. I went over to join him at the queue. Before, I had the chance to ask him... Jiaheng started his 'defence statement'.

"Mommy, today is Sunday, so it's a holiday. That is why I can take the Japanese food. Monday to Saturday, then I take vegetarian." And he completed his 'defence statement' with a nod of his head as if he is in agreement with his justification.

At that moment, Mommy is already bowing over in laughter deep inside but still trying to maintain my composure on the outside. Really kanna 内伤。

Well, I can understand the internal struggle within himself. On one hand, he will like to be compassionate and refrain from killing. On the other hand, Jap food is his FAVOURITE!!! Afterall, he is just a little kid who is barely 5 years old.

Well thanks to Jiaheng, the whole family's diet is changing to the healthier vegetables and soya products like beancurd.

Everything happens for a reason. So I guess Jiaheng's move to be vegetarian allows us to be healthier on top of the supplements we are taking.

------------ posted by Mommy

Did you know?

Did you know that lambs feed while on their knees?

Frankly speaking, I do not know that... until I was told during the 弟子规 lesson. It is the lamb's innate behaviour. It is their way of showing their appreciation to their mothers while they feed. It is their way to thank their mothers.

To think that a beast has such respect for their parents, what more we humans?

爸爸妈妈，谢谢

昨天教儿子“弟子规”的老师好用心啊。她要把一张光碟送给小朋友们， 每一位小朋友都能够得到一张。唯一的要求就是要小朋友在领光碟前，对着大家说声感谢父母的话。

我觉得出发点是很好的。老师常常对他们说要对父母敬孝，但从未从小朋友口中说出来。

原本是让小朋友们自愿上前的， 但是有对兄妹要先走。所以，老师让他们先说。岂料，兄妹俩站在那里老半天，都还没说出感激的话。是他们不会表达吗？不见得吧。他们看起来都上小学了吧。是他们太害羞了吗？那位哥哥平时上课总不合作，义工阿姨们常费心的教他，他都不会不好意思。怎会害羞呢。老师又是鼓励，又是给 leading questions 。许久，才说了声谢谢。

老师后来说了一句话， 我觉得非常有道理。她说“对父母说感谢的话没什么不好意思的。反而是件好事。我们天天长大，父母天天老了。有一天，父母走了，我们会哭的。我们落的泪要是感激的泪而不要是后悔的泪。现在父母还在，要赶快对他们说谢谢。”

后来，老师又叫了一些有兄弟姐妹在的同学一同出来说。我想是要他们壮壮胆吧。可惜，还是你推我，我推你的。不然就是在那儿笑，不愿意说。老师只好 lower her standards, 让他们走到父母前对父母说。幸好，有一位孩子很勇敢地在大家面前说他有多么谢谢他的父母亲。谢谢他们幸苦的把他养大。听了，好感动。总算有人能好好的谢谢他的父母。

我一面看着前面一些孩子还是不怎愿意好好的向他们的父母道谢， 一面不由自主的想到自己的儿子。儿子还未被叫上去。如果被叫到了，会不会像其大多数的孩子般扭捏？

差不多有一半的孩子都被叫到时，我看见家亨的手举了起来。但是，老师没看到， 叫了另外一位同学出去。这位同学回去了，家亨的手又举了。老师又是没留意到。第三次，家亨不等了，干脆自己走去前面。

当我看见儿子站在大家面前，有一股冲动想立刻站起来好让儿子能看到自己。还好，家亨已经看到了我。家亨说 “谢谢爸爸妈妈。我要孝顺你们。” 可想而知，那时的我有多感动。加上，坐我旁边的一位妈妈说　“你儿子啊？哇 steady man”　这份感动还多加了一丝自豪。

只可惜 Kai Hock人在 KL ,不然我想他一定会以我们的儿子为豪的。不是吗，老公?

借用老师的一句话　“敬孝要逞早”，你也对自己的父母说声谢谢了吗？我说了。

-------------posted by Mommy

Seeing Good Progress

One of the phrases in 弟子规 states
“或饮食 或坐走 长者先 幼者后”

It translates to whether you are drinking, eating, walking or sitting, let the elders go first; younger ones should follow.

It is a way to show respect to your elders by giving them priority.

Well, Jiaheng seems to have internalised this quite well. Let me give an example...
Example : (At the breakfast table this morning)
========
Kai Hock prepared a slice of bread for Jiaheng, then one of me. While Kai Hock was spreading the jam on his own bread, I started to eat. A quarter of the bread was already in my mouth, and just before my teeth sank into the bread, Jiaheng said "Wait! Mommy wait!"

My first reaction was to pull the bread out of my mouth. Jiaheng followed "Mommy, Papa is older so he has to eat first. " Oh ok... since we were the ones who taught him 弟子规, then we should abide right? So I "obediently" waited for Kai Hock to finish spreading his bread.

Then Jiaheng made an interesting comment. "Next time, we have to wait for Ah gong to eat, then Ah Ma to eat, then Gong Gong to eat, then Popo to eat, then Papa to eat, then Mommy to eat, then Auntie Joanne to eat, then Jiu Jiu to eat, then I eat, then Yixuan can eat."

Ha ha ha... poor Yixuan... how long must she wait before she can eat if we are to follow what Jiaheng described?

----------- posted by Mommy

弟子规

弟子规，圣人训
首孝悌，次谨信
泛爱众，而亲仁
有余力，则学文

The "Standards for Being a Good Student and Child" was taught by Chinese saints and sages of the ancient past.

First, it teaches you how to be dutiful to your parents, and how to be respectful and loving to your siblings.

Then, it teaches you how to be cautious with all people, matters, and things in your daily life, and how to be a trustworthy person.

Furthermore, it teaches you to love all equally, and to be close to and learn from people of virtue and compassion.

When you have accomplished all the above duties, you can further study and learn literature and art to improve the quality of your cultural and spiritual life.

The above is the outline of 弟子规.

I really find the teaching very useful and will use it as a guiding principle for teaching Jiaheng and Yixuan. The recommended standards for students may seem stringent by today's standards. However, it is apparent that the people of that time felt it was important that the child should be well disciplined and taught moral principles and virtues when still young. They felt that without strict discipline and moral standards, a child would amount to nothing.

It is worrying for me when I see many parents nowadays listening to their child instead of the other way round. Parents do not act like parents. Children do not act like children.

We definitely do not wish that to happen to our children. One main motivation for my wife to stay home is to give our children more attention while they are still young and in the molding age.

I won't say for sure that they will be excellent people when they grow up but we must do whatever we can to provide the path for our children.

Don't you think so?